Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
