dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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