Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
the raccoons are back...
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