I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
