she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
