Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
