Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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