Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
