I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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