I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
