what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
