I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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