I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize