brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
