He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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