Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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