don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
