would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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