I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
