Slut skills are useful in every country.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
