Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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