oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
