Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You don't make any sense
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