My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize