i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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