Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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