wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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