he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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