Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
