youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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