i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
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it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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