Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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