do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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