it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
