kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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