i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
