I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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