I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
