Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
