She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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