IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
