Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
