I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
