dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
