gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
