right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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