I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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