Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize