In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
