Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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