This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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