:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
