lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
