you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
