She announced her abortion via fbk
im holly from the hills drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
