I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
