used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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