____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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