That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
