bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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