Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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