He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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