Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
