What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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