How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
